The Untimely Demise of Charaben

In light of my football bentos, Clay from KITV has issued sort of a bento challenge to myself and Susan Yuen. I’ve claimed that I can do a Saints logo bento. I had intended to do it today, but with my eye acting up again, I ended up staying home and doing something else, mainly nothing. After the kids left for school, late again due to a dead car battery, I went back to bed. Somehow my freaking clock ran ahead 3 hours and I woke up around 1 pm. The good part is, I can wear my contact again. It’s much better than the makeshift eye patch I had taped to my forehead this morning.

Mr. Pikko and I did a trial run of NetFlix and for some reason all the movies we’ve wanted to see have been really morbid or depressing. I’ve been in a bit of a dark and dry humor mood for the whole week and needed to get it out of my system. This led me to thinking about charaben and what we bentists do to them on a daily basis.

Yes, we create cute food. We lovingly make them smile so as to bring a smile to the face of someone during lunch time. Charaben makers hear it all the time: shrieks of joy and lots of times the phrase, “It’s too cute to eat!” Let’s be honest here, though. What happens to these cute little food characters?

We eat them.

I have been deceiving you all this time. I am not really the fun, loving mother figure/creator of adorableness that I seem! I am really a food tormentor! I create in order to destroy! Muahaha!

This information has been deemed classified, as most of us undercover food sadists would never dare photograph their lunches after they become self aware. It is a closely guarded secret.

However, I am willing to give you an inside look at what goes on before the chopsticks dive in.

Here we have three egg bunnies. As you can see, two of them have become aware of their fate while the one on the far left has yet to receive word. Perhaps his kamaboko ears are malfunctioning or were frozen too long. In any case, he’s blissfully unaware of what’s going on with his little pink comrade on the other end of the fried rice trench.

This is a better look of why that little guy is screaming. You can see that I’ve already started to eat him. I haven’t even touched the guy in the middle, he’s just panicking because he knows what’s coming. The sweet potato hearts were put right in front of him to help ease the transition, but apparently they didn’t work.

Do not fret. At the time of this writing, they are all at peace, safely stored in my tummy. They did not suffer much at all. In fact, left bunny smiled all the way til the end.

I suppose it’s possible some vegetarians might find this disturbing, as it does have parallels to why some people choose to be vegetarians in the first place. If it does, my apologies, but as I said, I’ve been in a dark humor mood. This is merely an attempt to be funny.